REFLECTION

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Crawling through the front end of this life,

I felt so cheated, paying price after price.

What I enjoyed wasn’t his design.
My parents were my parents, but they weren’t mine.
I was hurtin so bad, but it wasn’t my time.

I couldn’t understand why he kept me alive.

What I wanted.
What he planned—

It didn’t align.

Me?

I ignored that part.
Hard-headed, afraid-
I ignored my heart.

My ignorance, the highest of the high.
I put the meaning in bliss,
I stopped askin why.

I wouldn’t wait for direction.
I wanted the acceptance.
I looked to people to prove,

strife and love
had no connection.

Still I hadn’t learned my lesson.

I wasn’t intimidated by my sins.
I tangled wit depression.
I was empty and reckless.

How I felt about me-?
my actions reflected.

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Patience

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Just before the snow fell i lost my patience-
Searchin for your love, but i couldn’t replace it.
And at that time, i ain’t know if you was gone make it.
 My mental declined,
my body couldn’t take it.
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Wish You

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What you see.
I wasn’t always this.
I put razors to my wrist, and no,
I never missed.
Cut after cut,
for every game that she missed.

A permanent sleep was never the aim.
Call me what you want, but not insane.
destroyed my flesh, but i never touched a vein.

I was trying to find the light,
in a love that was always lost.
Scars is what it cost.
inside my mind,
my soul got lost.

She was supposed to be my main-
the knowledge to my struggle,
the soother of my pain.

No one has hurt me, like my mother has.
Her inability to be present,
is now the past.
That’s just the reality,
she hasnt passed.

I carried the weight of my anguish.
I wanted her to understand-
but i wasn’t speaking her language.
That’s the past now, and

we can’t change it.

Just as me, she is his.
He sees her,
he sees her kids.
He sees the life, she chooses to live.
If I believe in God.
I gotta believe,
he sees,
I have nothing left to give.

I’ve won many fights
but i’ve lost this war.
I’m closer than I’ve ever been.
The ending of this, of us
is where
i begin.

Here and now, I lay it to rest.
I give it to God,
and Mom–

i wish you da best.

 

 

 

Have You Ever Cheated? 

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I’ve been conversing with all kinds of people about relationships and cheating– I’ve come across some very interesting and different opinions. So, I have some questions for y’all.

Have you ever cheated? Why? And what did you learn?